His big reveal is his name and adoptive brother relationship to Bond (neither of which are treated with any sort of importance). Gee, they sure opened the doors for older female actors with that role, huh? Did I mention that he apparently had sex with her in the 3-minute window that it took for hired assassins to get to her house? Nobody came out of this scene with any dignity.Ĭhristoph Waltz' talents are wasted on this half-assed, thrown together version of Blofeld who most memorable act of villainy is torturing Bond from a rolley computer chair in a pair of chinos and slippers. ![]() She spends about 5 minutes in the movie and only exists so Bond can sleep with the widow of his most recent kill. ![]() There was this huge deal about Monica Bellucci being the oldest Bond girl and how this was so important in subverting conventions and Hollywood age-shaming. One scene Swann is mocking the idea that she'll succumb to Bond's advances and a few scenes later (without any development in their relationship) they're in love! The Madeline Swann love story is so desperately sold to the audience as the new Vesper Lynd/Love of Bond's Life, but there's absolutely no groundwork laid for them falling in love. When going to a Bond film, I'm not expecting airtight logic, adherence to the laws of physics, or 21st century third-wave feminist gender politics. I hated Spectre too though not for the same reasons. Did anyone actually read the screenplay before they began shooting it? There was a kernel of an interesting idea in this film, but holy Mary and Joseph was the final product a train wreck. I assume it actually takes time to drive from place to place in London.) (But he somehow knows about the helicopter crash in advance so he can arrive on the scene while Blofeld is crawling out. ![]() How does M even know who Blofeld is and what he has done when he arrests him after the helicopter crash? After all, Blofeld and James literally just finished their showdown at the condemned building, and M has no idea what transpired, having been occupied with other matters the entire time and not having spoken to Bond yet. How does Blofeld survive a gruesome explosion in Africa, get reconstructive surgery, have time to heal, and then appear in London a few hours after the explosion having already set up a needlessly elaborate trap in London for James and the girl? How does the girl get captured and placed in said trap, a process that would have taken quite a lot of time, even though she was on the street alive and well just minutes earlier? How did the villains find her in the first place? How is it that immediately after helicopter crash, while Blofeld is climbing out of the wreckage, the entire bridge is already cordoned off with dozens of emergency vehicles and Crime Scene - Do Not Cross police tape? My wife and I laughed out loud at how weird it was. Why was a hitman sent to kill them on the train if the plan was to have them arrive at the secret base unharmed? Why was having them get to the secret base a plan at all? And how did James Bond know the villains would send a chauffeur to pick him up at a vacant train station in the middle of the Sahara? Why was he herded into that weird meteorite room to listen to a meaningless monologue? Why was the entire base rigged to explode moments after Bond escapes? How on earth did Blofeld get away?Ībsurd chronology. Why does the villain only choose to appear several hours into the train ride? Was he hiding on board the whole time? Why interrupt dinner in the public dining car instead of attacking while Bond and his partner were in private compartments? Why did the entire dining and cooking staff disappear for the scene?Ībsurd villain logic. Does he keep a fully fuelled aircraft and inflatable runway in his pocket for just such occasions?Ībsurd fight scenes, like the one on the train near the end of the film. ![]() (!)Ĭompletely improbable chase scenes, like James Bond flying an airplane just seconds after the bad guys kidnap his girlfriend-to-be in front of his eyes and take off down the mountain in SUVs. Every new plot development was completely contrived, such as:Ī ring that magically connects all the most recent Bond villains into a single octopus-shaped flowchart under the SPECTRE banner after being scanned by a laptop. All throughout the movie, I kept turning to my wife with an expression of incredulous disbelief. Would the movie really turn out to be that bad? So I finally decided to see what all the negative buzz surrounding Spectre was about.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |